Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Monday, 8 February 2010

Shifting Sands....

Once again been slack in the blogging department... this time it is due to the fact that my little world seems to be out of balance with conflict, bitchiness, changes and a general unsettled feeling permeating the atmosphere... oh hang on that was just a Tanky fart... whew nasty!

My work life has become a minefield of snarlyness and "them and us" mentality, with the Troll Faced Bitch's attitude moving up ranks to her boss who I have always had a fabulous relationship with... hmmmm not any more it seems, after said Boss literally ran me over by going through me rather than around me with no acknowledgement of my existence... now this woman is usually lovely, loud but lovely but wow how things have changed... Now my general attitude in situations like this is usually "get over it and move on" but I really like the boss lady and I am genuinely hurt that she is behaving like some high school BFF who can no longer "like" me because her BFF doesn't... Ohhh please how old are we 13????

This feeling of division and snarlyness seems to be oozing out of other areas of my life as well and here in lies my wariness to the whole friendship thing... I have said before I am not a great friend maker, I inherently stand back and wait to be sucker punched by people I have given my trust to. Probably because I have been bitten more than once and so I am far more than twice shy, so I have reached the stage in my life where I do not give out my self as much as I could or would even like to for fear of being hurt yet again....

I know this isn't a good way to be but it is how I have learnt to handle the way woman treat each other. What I would love to see is woman treating each other the way men treat each other, you know sometimes it would be great to be able to just walk up and punch someone in the nose.. smack!... then stick out your hand help them up and its over... They know they have been a cow, you know they have been a cow so one quick smack in the nose and the cowiness is gone...

But alas woman are smarter than that, we poke, we throw snide remarks, we hint at failings and undermine beliefs... we hold grudges for years waiting for the one chance to grab that rug just as she steps onto it and haul with all our might... we are a sad time wasting species sometimes....

Apart from the unsettled feelings, and the permeating Tanky farts, everything else is going as it should with a big weight drop so far this week of 700gms woohoo!!!

The gym is changing owners today and although I secretly was hoping for that new owner to be me (and I did spend Saturday snivelling about it) it is being taken over by a young bloke who seems - at this stage - to be heading in a great direction... so I can't wait to see how this goes.. Main thing for me is that he is more than happy for us to keep a key so my training will stay on track for the comps... whew!!!

Had a wet weekend here and a dead car battery, Managed to hit the beach Saturday for a couple of hours and some shops on Sunday, did the usual Sunday posing class, all perfectly normal and boring really...

SO its time to get ready to go to the shifting sands and see how stable my little world in a box is today...

2 comments:

mq01 said...

bob and i are sending big hugs, love, a tequila bottle, and email your way :) xoxo

Frankie said...

bah! I HATE it when work gets like that. Our workplace was really sucky and divided about 4 years ago. Really really stressful to come to. Luckily we weeded out the bitches (ie didn't hire them back on contract) and now it's all love and hugs.

Don't let it get to you xxx