Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Bit of a worry actually...

Sooooo measurements were not good, in fact they were just plain weird... fat up, muscle up, weight up, water here, there and everywhere and not because it is still raining unless I am somehow soaking up the rain through osmosis.... hmmm I probably am knowing my weird body...

My skin is acting like I am wearing a woolen coat, which sounds nice except that I am absolutely and totally allergic to wool (yes there probably is a joke in there somewhere about a Kiwi who is allergic to wool...) I am itching and burning but no rash is visible... I seem ok until I eat then almost as soon as I finish my last mouthful my skin just starts itching and feeling like it is being rubbed by sandpaper...

When I am touched or touch anything I feel... ummmm this is hard to explain but it is tenderish, bruised but there is no bruising... ummm weird... just feel strange and sore and tender and I am just not enjoying this journey at all...

I have always said if you don't like doing it, Stop... this is supposed to be enjoyable and fun and just plain awesome, not painful and nasty and filled with dread...

I do not plan to stop.... yet...

BUT I have made a doctors appointment with a new Doctor on Friday afternoon, I will wait to see what SHE says and then I will make a decision on whether I will carry on to the IFBB in April or hold on till the INBA in May - which by the way has confirmed that I will be considered old enough to be a Grand Master and I will be playing in the over 50 class - and then go on to the Asia Pacific.... Or maybe I will say that 2010 is the year to work on my body, let it grow and heal and watch out in 2011 cause here comes granny.....

I will make my decision once I have her prognosis, and not before because I love this sport!!!!!

But I am not stupid enough to keep going if I am hurting myself...

I love to train with weights but due to time constraints in the morning, every day has become a pressure cooker of training and cardio and instead of giving the weights the dedication they deserve and that I love to give, I am constantly watching the clock and the cardio machines to make sure I can not only fit in the 20 minutes of cardio, but actually get on a machine to do the cardio... The fun has gone... and if its not fun what is the point of doing it??????

So although I am officially easing off for the week until I see Kelli again, this really just means that I am not going to be doing morning cardio but I will still train as usual and do the evening cardio...

Kelli and I have discussed the coming week and my diet has changed with the white fish going and Kangaroo and chicken coming back in... Saturday is to be a total non diet day with no guilt allowed... this will be interesting considering I haven't eaten a whole day worth of non diet food for over two years now.... I have no idea what I will be eating!!! I actually don't have cravings for anything today so I think at this stage it will be a surprise to see what I eat and how I cope...

Apart from Saturday, nothing else will change until I have the Doctors results and I have discussed those results with Kelli. She is fabulous and understands the whole mental and physical process so well.... She is supportive and honest, non judgemental and is helping me so much!!!

So that's where I am at.... no mans land till after the Doctors visit and probably blood tests...

Unless of course the pie sponsorship comes in... although after Laurens suggestion The Cheesecake Factory sounds like a plan as well LOL

5 comments:

mq01 said...

witchazel, are you allergic? to the white fish maybe? or does it have a high mercury content by chance? is there something else new in your diet? you are experiencing the exact same allergic reactions i have/know/love.... :)

discuss with the dr!! and maybe do a detox then test with/without the white fish.

Lauren said...

Heck, that does sound weird! You are doing the right thing though, and hopefully the doc can shed some light on the situation for you. Must agree with mq01 though....it does sound a bit like an allergy.

Try to enjoy your week, and your free DAY, and not stress too much. I am guessing that stress is not going to help in any way.

Thinking of you!

Chelle said...

Hmmmm i agree with the girls too, perhaps an intolerance to something you are consuming? Have you changed your Protein pwd? Any dairy in your diet?

Also, this 'itching' is that like a crawling sensation on your skin???? (its a menopausal symptom that many women encounter)

Sandra said...

Hey Cath, hope you get some answers about the weird stuff your body's doing...sounds a lot like some sort of allergy...but by the sounds of things you've not introduced anything different into your diet...
Hang in there, and keep us posted.
Hugs,
xoxox
PS just realised I am only repeating what the others are saying, but wanted to pop in anyway :)

bluegirl said...

Gee doesn't sound to good , hope you are ok.