Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Thursday, 27 January 2011

Not a hanger-on-er...

I just can't do it anymore... I used to be able to do it.. I never really liked it... but I could do it... but then I tasted the joy of not doing it and now I just can't stand it...

See I have discovered I can no longer be in the shade... I spent a lot of my life behind someone or something covered by their shade... I wasn't always happy to be the one behind... but honestly.. back in the day.. it was kind of expected... so behind I was..

But then I found that I was not only capable of creating my own shade but I loved doing it!

It started with the weight training, I had always been fiercely independent in the gym, then was actually introduced to Hubby in the gym and he created a fair bit of shade.. yes this is when I joke that  a lot of it came from around his middle.. hehehehe... but he is rather larger than life in more than just measurements.. ouch that is going to cost me later... heheheehe.. anyway when we first meet and started training together about 20 years ago his shade started to take over and I slowly became accustomed to living in it... then the famous "Step" came into fashion and we would compete to see who could build the highest step and complete the class...slowly that became a thing of the past and things changed, weight and size around both our middles increased to the point where there was more shade than light in our lives and I hid in it until I found it safe and comfortable and then suddenly one day I discovered I was too embarrassed to come out...

More things changed and when I stepped back into the gym with the hope that the shade over me would decrease I found that I loved having light on me... loved it.. then the broom came along and the shade totally disappeared... Hell it couldn't even catch me!

Yesterday we took Hubbies bike out for the first time since the broom left..... I sat on the back... I discovered that I am no longer a hanger-on-er... I hate it back there... I don't want to be hanging on in the shade... a decoration on the back.. not for me.. not on the bike.. not in life... I prefer to create my own shade.. actually I prefer to create my own light so that it may help someone else discover how to create their own shade and step out into life....

I am hoping that with my dream will come that opportunity... giving other the chance to shine will make me shine even more...

3 comments:

Liz N said...

Can;t wait to see what you've planned chick :)

Out into the light we shall ride!

OnMyWay said...

That was beautiful! Well written and I think your husband will love you even more for your honesty. If ever you get a chance look up Kahlil Gibran On Marriage. I think you will enjoy.

mq01 said...

let there be light! :) bring it witchazel! woohoo!