Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Sleep, Hair and a botch from hell...

First a quick update on my week from Wednesday night....

Thursday, hmmm actually can not remember much of it so it must have been ok... oh yeah instead of a full day in the office they ran out of work and I was sent packing... ended up cleaning cars for the afternoon...
Friday I crashed and burned!!!

I once again went from the office job to car cleaning at around 12.30 then finished car cleaning at 4ish came home laid down and apart from snarling a couple of times at Hubby when he dared to breath in my vicinity I slept through to 5am Saturday morning! I was soooo exhausted on Friday that I fell asleep twice between cars coming and going to be cleaned!

I had been pretty down all week and like everyone else I just needed sleep so badly that I woke up Saturday feeling fan bloody tabulous!!!

Then after the usual Saturday morning abs and cardio I went from having hair which I have been trying to grow that looked like this...










to Hair like this!









Of course it was fabulous to be pampered and looked after for a couple of hours and I came home feeling totally awesome...

I was a little worried about how I would go with all this new hair after all it has been around 37 years since I last had hair this long, which is why I have had the extensions put in now, I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time to get used to all this hair and how to move it when posing, but I figured... how hard can this be...


Wow I really shouldn't have asked that question!!!!


I carefully plaited it last night before bed... oh and after going to the movies to see Gran Torino, an awesome heart wrenching movie that you just MUST see!!!!! Anyway I did all I was told to do with the new hairy bed mate and even got a great nights sleep which I really didn't expect...

We had our usual Sunday lay in until 6.30am that's a whole extra 2 hours longer than a normal day LOL

Then I ventured to the mirror and was delighted to see that apart from a few little fluffy bits from my own hair all was good and a quick brush and replait and we were off for our Sunday run along the waterfront... which felt kind of like I was being chased by hairy snake the whole way LOL..


BUT then I made the fatal mistake of going straight to the shower and wetting my hair.... sooooo 3/4 of and hour latter I am in tears because I can not dry my hair since every time I get it near dry it sticks to my sweating body and gets wet again!


I am sweating like a pig in a sauna, since our one and only bathroom is tiny and has only one small window and I am wrapped in this blanket of hair... think something along the lines of the Wookie from Starwars meets the swamp monster!!!! Of course I still haven't eaten anything yet so I am shaky and a total mess!!!


I gave up on the hair and went and cried and ate, both of which definitely helped and once I had a singlet on and moved to another room I managed to dry it some more and then took lots of deep breaths and tried using the new straightening iron for the first time in my life... with lots more deep breaths and some very rude words, I got the hair back to almost how it looked yesterday... but still it took me nearly 2 hours to get the beast tamed!!!!

How the hell I'm going to manage it in the morning in the 1 hour I have to eat breakfast and get ready between the gym and work I don't know.... Thank goodness I had it done now and not just before the competition, since I reckon it IS going to take me 9 weeks to learn how to drive this hair!!! I have left the length as long as possible so that if it needs to be shortened it can be but wow this is hard work..



Apart from the hair I have not been handling this week very well at all, I feel totally guilty about the rest of my life and how I have been neglecting my family especially my daughter and grandkids. Also because I am constantly stressing about fitting in the posing, routine, training, cooking, eating, drinking, working, cardio, cleaning, washing, ironing... I have been a total botch to Hubby, and since I know I am doing this I am feeling even worse and of course this makes me mad which then turns me into a larger nastier total botch... it is a viscous circle and I can not seem to climb out of it... I last about 2 hours in the morning then the botch is back...


Is this normal???? Will I really be this bad for another 9 to 11 weeks!!!! I am starting to wonder if doing this to my family is worth what I will get out of it.... This is the first time in my life I have really truly put myself first and I really do not know if I like being this way..... My daughter said to me tonight when I told her I couldn't see her as I was running out of time to get everything done... "That sux, but I suppose you must think it's worth it...." But I'm not sure that I do....


Well I have truly rambled tonight... I am now off to bed, well I will be once I have set everything out for the morning, ironed the saggy baggy uniform, got the gym gear out, plaited the new pet, and then I will go to bed and lay awake and try to find a way to make my family understand why I am doing this and why I am like this at the moment.......

2 comments:

Tearose said...

Your new hair is beautiful! I know what you mean about the guilt, I nearly pulled out all together yesterday and then again today. This is also the first time I have ever put myself first and I know I am bitchy and demanding, lol I am trying not to be. Add to that our finances are almost non-existent till we get jobs lol. But even if I decided not to compete, I still have to eat and buy protein powder, so it doesn't really change much at the moment. *sigh* If we were men this would be easier guilt wise I think.
Were both doing the ANB is that right? Maybe its the week to feel this way. lol

Raechelle said...

It's a tough road...and it really doesn't get easier any closer to the comp. In my only experience of competing I was so tired, grouchy and foggy by the last week-I could not wait for it to be done. It's worth it just to say I did it...but for me personally-that's why I only did it once-and I don't even have kids and job to contend with! You should stick it out otherwise you will always wonder. And you may actually love the day so much you'll want to do it again!
good luck!