Before the numbers come in...

I have decided to post this BEFORE I go and see Kelli so I can not be swayed by the outcome of today's numbers and assessments..

I AM going to compete in both the INBA and the ANB shows in May.

I have come this far and worked this hard, so what the hell is another 9 to 11 weeks of my life... Hell I have mucked around for the last 48 years it's about time I got my shit together and went for something that will be Just About Me.... So from now on this is

J.A.M.... Blueberry I think....

I have now had a couple of good sleeps which I think has helped one hell of a lot, I have also had this morning off to relax and spend a bit of one on one time with my daughter and the beautiful Miss Lily (although her nap time came around way too soon - sigh!)

And now my head is back on straight I will admit what my concerns were....

I have felt for some time that I didn't have a choice in this, that because we have spent a very untidy sum of money on the supplements, gym memberships, personal trainers, programmes, shoes, tan, hair, bikini's, more supplements, increasing amounts of clothes in smaller and smaller sizes etc etc etc (you know the list...) I was duty bound to compete just to justify the amount of money it has cost....

This morning I realised that it does not matter what it has cost as I am more than worth every damn cent... in fact my happiness does not have a dollar value and doing this is making me happy....

So in 8 weeks and 3 days I am going to stand on stage and be damn proud of what I have done and how I look and I will know I have done my best,worked my hardest and been blessed with the support I have received from my Hubby and the rest of my family and friends....

Now I will go and get ready for my visit to Kel...

I will update this when I get back...