Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Friday, 4 September 2009

Mentally & Physically clean...

Well my computer is anyway....

Me??? not so clean... LOL

Its fabulous, away went my old dusty 5 year old laptop full of unusable files and mixed up programmes (thanx to me spending months moving them around trying to keep the poor old puuta puuting) and I got back a lovely clean puuta which whizzes though files and around the web with the speed of a new puuta... look even my kkkkkk is working again!!! Thank you to the guys at itangent for now I once again have a laptop all new and shiny and fast for 1/5th of the cost of a new puuta...

Soooo since I have been out of touch not a lot has changed in my life, as my quick post from work the other day said my fat% is now down to 8.83%, skin folds of 44.0mm, LBM 56.4kg... ahead of target again, which made me jump for joy... and honestly it did make me happy for a whole day.... then this morning I got up and struggled, holding back tears, into the gym, pushed myself to get through a half hearted session of biceps and one set of abs and a whole 7 mins on a very slow treadmill, then I cried my 3 minute walk home...

The rest of my day has been full of hunger, snarls and grump. I really just wanted to curl in a ball and eat anything that was not chicken, tuna, rice or green... I would have happily eaten a blue pussball just because it was not GREEN! Anything but what I have now been eating for nearly two years....

I never want to go back to how I was two years ago, but after being on a controlled eating plan for this long I do have days where I struggle to stay focused even with Hubbies endless hugs, encouragement, pushing and prodding. I love the way I look, but by all that is blessed it is damn hard to do it for this long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and once again today was lolly bag day at work, but at least they went with the big jar of free jelly beans in the lunch room, which were far enough away from the smell of freshly baked garlic bread to not be affected ..... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I just want to get on my bike and ride the hell out of here for the whole weekend... alright I will take a bloody bag of damn healthy food with me.... but of course with our fur kids a weekend away is not possible.... then I see the weather forecast for the weekend..... and after a fine week where I have been locked in my windowless hell, the weekend is going to be wet................ sux! sux! sux! sux!

5 comments:

Vicki said...

One of those days huh! Yep can tell comp is getting near as we have all been blogging about having a crappy day here and there. Hang in there Cath - you are doing bloody fantastic and the fact that you are ahead of schedule in the bodyfat dept is a testament to that. We ALL have these days, it's called bloody carb depletion lol. Seriously - not long to go not, we are getting to the bit where you can see the light at the end :) And the lollies will be there after the Big O, don't worry!!
HUGS!!
Vic x

mq01 said...

xoxo!! i wish i was there. we would ride in the rain, work out at the gym, and ride wet some more. :)

my sister, its just a day. just remind yourself, the bike will be there smiling waiting for you, the hubby is there with love hugs and support (and beautifully kicking up the bling factor!!), the food and hard work is the reason you feel and look wonderful. AND... you, sharing lifes ups and downs, you are motivating me in more ways than i can explain.

xoxo!!

mq01 said...

witchazel, i just stumbled into info; the full moon is in pisces = intense mood swings and emotions with strong imagination. its dramatic with obstacles. they say go with the flow now.
hope this helps...

Raechelle said...

All I know is that you will not fail, because you know what you want and are determined to succeed. I am feeling this way for myself now too!
Your strength carries over to us all! Stay strong chicky!

Witchazel said...

Thanx guys!!! Feeling much better today even if I didn't get out on the bike.. Tomorrow we are heading for the hills.... well as far as you can go between meals anyway LOL