Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Decision making....

Trained Back today, had a great session but had to miss the last two exercises to be able to fit my cardio time in, that sluts me but that is just how life in the real world goes some days, you just have to do the best you can with what you have.....

Anyone who has been reading this blog for a while will know by now I am fundamentally a Pagan, due to current goals I don't get to practice the craft as much as I would like, but my belief is strong and in times of stress or indecision my beliefs help me to focus on where I really want to be going and what I am truly aiming for....

20 years ago I was over here to Oz for a break, recuperating from my first marriage breakup and had a day in Sydney wandering around. ....

I had always wanted a Tarot deck but where I was living at the time in NZ there was no where that I could attain one, and even if there was I had no idea what I even wanted one for, I just knew deep down that I had to have one.

So there I was wandering around in this huge city not knowing one street from the other and suddenly right in front of my feet was a stairwell that lead down to an Esoteric bookstore. I was in awe, as I entered I was sure that I would want the whole bookstore of delights, how was I ever going to chose what to get with what little spending money I had....

The store was amazing, floor to ceiling shelves of books, candles, wands, Athame, beautiful pentagrams and crystal balls... I was breathless and really had no idea where to start.... I was now a single mum with two small children so spending money really was tight... what would I choose... I had to choose something there was no way I could leave without at least one small paperback book...

Then I saw the cards, a cabinet of decks, so many beautiful designs, colours, sizes all locked away so only the deck you chose could be touched.. now I really ached with a need to have one... The shop owner came over and asked me which one was mine, not if I wanted one, just which one was it that was for me....

So 20 years later I still turn to my deck when I am at a crossroads, I have only ever used her once to read for others and although I was told I was correct I have never felt the confidence to do it again, or ever wanted to share her again... She is my deck and that is all I need her for. I let no one else touch her, I keep her hidden away so that she is safe at all times. I have told her my deepest desires and biggest fears and she has always, always, shown me the way I should be going....

Maybe some will scoff that I base my directions on a set of cardboard rectangles and I can honestly say I don't care. My strongest belief is that everyone has a right to their own religion or not as they chose. Too many wars have been raged over religion and I will never fight another person because of their beliefs....

Today I once again found my answers and know that I am going to where I should be, reaching for what I deserve, and will arrive there knowing that I have harmed none in my journey. I will also ensure that I stop and help as many others as I can reach theirs.

Isn't this and a Bitch Broom the only way to travel?

4 comments:

mq01 said...

lovely witchazel, truly lovely.

i found a store in my early 20's when looking for coffee, many years ago, and it pulled me inside. it was during a time when i was facing a very bad man/divorce and in turbulence. it was the most fantastic shop. a single mom owned a coffee shop with a mystical new age book and crystal shop. oooh how much i loved that place. i can still smell the herbs and teas, and see all the books. you'd find me there at all hrs, reading, shopping, enjoying people. it was fantastic!!!

i must tell you, you have sent me on a personal mission - besides (or including) the gym, health, happy, wellness lifepath :) i have realized i have a tattoo that must now change (seems it has created 24 years of inbalance). im excited...

love ya witchazel!! and bob wants to ride with bitch broom!!! :) xoxo

Raechelle said...

my little brother swears by his tarot deck! :-)

Lia Halsall said...

I loved this post. So very few that are pagan talk about their spiritual beliefs and I do miss that. It's lovely to hear that you follow what you believe in because that's how it should be Cath. xxx

Sandra said...

Cath,
Great post. For the past couple of years something's been tagging at me to have a reading...I've had a couple done a long time ago by relatives and the cards don't lie...might just go searching for a deck of my own ;)
Thanks for sharing.
xxx