Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Thanx and the reasons...

Thank you all so much for your comments on my Total Melt Down.....
Yes it was a TOTAL Melt Down..... Culminating in me spending the majority of yesterday either asleep or sobbing....

And although I finally laid the blame at the feet of the comments from the people who I thought, being my friends may actually support me, it really was a culmination of a pile of what can only be described using Fifi's all encompassing "Pooh Cherries"

By the time I received the "She can't ride her bike without a huge backpack of wonder food" comment when invited to a BBQ where surely I could "God just eat a hunk of steak, how hard is that???" just after the "surely you can just throw away the bread from a steak sandwich" and the *rolling eyes big sigh* "So you Stilllllll doing the whole chicken thing....sigh" I had already pretty much had a hell week.

Dad in and out of hospital, cuddling Mum who really is a tiny 4'9" of 84 year old nothing with a little white fluff on the top, shivering by his side and stressed trying to hold it together so she wouldn't upset Dad while making herself sick doing it.

The gym saga of on again off again hours, where we were promised entry until Monday and then another 3 weeks of 5am opening to discover only another week of 5am openings and the locks changed on Saturday not Monday.... This will require a total rehash of my life to fit the new training in the evening and food being adjusted to fit, not a small thing when you are only 7 weeks out from a competition...

Not being able to fit my study into the now diminishing times due to extra cardio,hospital visits, work, exhaustion and trying very hard to make sure Hubby gets to do what he wants at least one day week....

Other general life and money worries because as we know bikinis, bling, personal trainers etc are not the cheapest thing and then there is the food and supplements..

So by Saturday morning I was official written off.... Did not stay on diet but luckily because there is just Hubby and me and he does pretty much eat the same as me but more of it I was able to go off diet by only adding protein powder to just about every meal (its the only bloody sweet stuff in our house!) and by also adding 3 small handfuls of raw almonds... hmmm pretty poor excuse for a binge eh...lol

Today I am back, we ran the waterfront as we do on a Sunday, I have eaten on plan all day and we got into the Truck and went to a Rockabilly gathering...... which turned out to be a very small affair but fun then on to Westend for coffee and browsing book stores (my favourite!!!!) and clothing stores (Hubbies favorite!!!)

So another week looms... I am considering missing the April show and concentrating on May this will take some of the pressure off, but it will depend on my measurements on Wednesday. If I am still on track I will keep aiming for April...

Once again thank you all sooooo much for your comments, honestly without you guys this would be an almost impossible task for me. I also must thank my Daughter for telling me how great she thinks I am, I think she is pretty bloody great herself, and having her support means more to me than anything...

Now some photos from today.... And the eternal question... why must men look inside?????









5 comments:

mq01 said...

men always seem to want a test ride, dont they?!? LOL!!! im so glad to hear this update from you. hang in there, soak up all the strength and love thats being sent your way, and focus on what means the most to you in times like these. bob and i send hugs and love witchazel, we love you just the way you are!

Lauren said...

Glad to hear you are on the rise again Cath! Family is oh so important in times of need....and meltdowns....so cling to them, suck the life out of them and allow them to lift you up to happiness again. Go girl!

Laynie - The Marketing Muscle said...

Excuse me .... Just wait one goddam fricken moment young lady. Let's just back up a bit. Firstly, it's not just men who look inside "the cockpit". I do also. There's a lot of work that goes into the interior of these mobile works of art. I remember having to count the buttons in the interior of an all white leather creation of one of my brothers. LOL. Secondly - take your food with you wherever you go. If they don't like that ... go get knotted. Most of them don't have the discipline to see past the edge of their plate let alone to master themselves with consistent and persistent training. As a Life Coach GF once asked me "What does it matter? Truly, what does it matter?" Mind over matter ... look after your mind, and they don't matter!!! Thirdly - hug your mum. I lost my dad last year, and mum was in denial the whole time of his illness. Love them, I know you do. Lastly, be gentle on yourself. You've got a whole lot of stuff going on in your world. Comp prep is hard enough, without studying, and your hospital visits. You are doing awesome. Do me fav? Easier said than done, I know. But experience has taught me ... turn your back on the distractions and the negatives that prevent you achieving your goals. Even people. You will respect yourself in the morning. Now, you go girl. I'm so proud to know you. Heart of lion girl :)

Witchazel said...

I never would be able to d this without you guys!!!! thankyou sooooo much I just hope I get the chance to meet you all face to face and have a huge HUG!!!

Ohhhh MQ, to meet you would be a dream come true and a homecoming as well...

mq01 said...

XOXO, i feel the same... i can see us now, two chicks with bikes loaded high of gear, meeting up at an intersection somewhere, sleeping bags set up under the stars of salem (or black hills, or sierras, or the coast), and resulting in empty tequila bottles laying at the campfire :) thats one of the best joys of riding (and life), you never know what will happen thru the windshield. xoxo!