Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Friday, 19 March 2010

Loss & Fear....

As a "Figure Girl" I spend a huge amount of time concentrating on achieving losses to make gains..

I work hard and long to have a fat loss so I can gain the hard ripped stage look and to be healthy and fit...

I have been concentrating on losses for 2 years and 3 months now and although I have made HUGE gains I am now feeling that concentrating on loss is not a great way to live....

This feeling has, of course, been bought on by the arrival of my AHL, but also by the loss of an acquaintance, a wonderful woman, kind, joyful, and Matriarch to a loving family, who was only a few years older than me and who passed unexpectedly yesterday morning. She was not close enough to me to be called a friend, although I would like to think we were, but my life was definitely enriched by knowing her.

With the uncertainty of the AHL I have also found a loss of direction in my life... One minute I am totally fixed on a date to compete... next minute, nothing....

This morning I trained Hamstrings and then did 20 minutes of cardio.... this was not done because I leapt out of bed yelling "Let me at it!!!" but because I feared not to.... I have found that with the loss of a purpose I am spending a lot of time fearing the outcome...

Of course there is the fear of the unknown with the AHL, totally normal to be feeling that way, but I also fear that if I have to stop training, if I have to STOP completely where will I head.. what will my direction be.... what will become of how I am... who I am...

I am at a loss....

3 comments:

Kerry W said...

No doubt Cath, you'll work things out in your own time.

It's hard to get your head around having to do something 'differently' from how you've always done it. It's something I've had to come to terms with recently myself. But there's always a different way around things. It may not be 'the' way, but there is always 'a' way.

As always, I draw on quotes for inspiration. It's also good to find someone who has been through something similar and has come through the other side. This can help solve the pieces of your puzzle...I know it has for me.

Anyway...here's a quote I've found. I don't know the name of the author...

"Losing sight of who you are is one of the most terrifying points in your life, whatever its cause. Do not become weak by slowly sinking into depression, but become stronger by redefining yourself as you wish. It is people that do the latter that often do great things."

Hope you find your way back soon.

Kerry :)

mq01 said...

i love the quote kerry has shared.

fear is a stronghold. you have every reason and right to feel all the things that you're feeling. but dont let fear have power. its these fears and challenges that make us strong/stronger.

i honestly believe that bigger better things are in the path. if only we had the crystal ball that would tell us when what and how. since we dont, i'll just continue to send energy for focus and strength your way. we love you witchazel.

so, what feels good? what color is the hair? red? blue streaks? sending big hugs and black chai tea!! xoxo!!

Witchazel said...

You two are the most wonderful women!!!! Thankyou both for your wonderful words of wisdom...

Loved the quote Kerry. notice how it is now at the top of my blog!

MQ!!! So HAPPY you survived your ride - scared the shit out of me I expected to read the last line as... I am typing this from a hospital bed!!!! And thank you for the tea LOL xoxoxox