Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Thursday, 25 March 2010

Time.... Is it really that short....

One of things that has been poking at me since attending the funeral yesterday was the manner in which the mourners were treated....

The service was lovely, the eulogy was personal and touching, the attitude of the person in charge of the service was...... ummmm, well just plain blunt...

I am totally aware that these days minutes cost money, time is of the essence, people live rushed lives. But surely when you die there should be a little give in the time your friends and family are allowed to join together to celebrate your life and mourn your passing....

But no. Once the family were told they could enter the chapel the other mourners were loudly informed that there was a funeral booked in right after this one so if we could move quickly inside and get the service started it would be appreciated. The brisk and blunt manner of this statement surprised me and I am sure it also unsettled the closer friends a lot more than it did me.

At the end of the service we were once again loudly and bluntly reminded that there was to be another funeral straight after this one and could we all please clear the chapel and move over to another area if we felt the need to gather... "Felt the need"?????

Surely we have now reached the point of ridiculous. Is it not bad enough that the official "Bereavement Leave" allowed for a close relative is three days, which does not include uncles, aunties or anyone as far removed as, say, a niece, but to be told at a funeral to hurry up as the next one is lined up and waiting seems bizarre.....

For a start I have always thought that my funeral (no I don't think about it a lot but you know when you are slapped in the face with death sometimes you DO think....) was going to be a large party, I want dance music and alcohol, party hats and laughter, I want my life to be celebrated with gusto and jokes, I want people to be glad they knew me not mourn my passing, I want them to know that I truly believe that by the time they are having the funeral for the me I am already starting my next life and expect to meet them again in it and it to be a blast....

Hell how are they going to fit all that into a half hour?????? I want them laughing for at least three days, hell I deserve at least three days... LOL

Are we really that taxed for time now that funerals have to be timed to the minute.... If we are, then the world really does need to take a long hard look at how we celebrate life and death... of course the problem with that is when will we find the time to take that good long look.... obviously not in between the funerals.....

4 comments:

Lauren said...

Yes, it is distressing to see even in our last momentous occasion we are easily forgettable or not even looked upon highly enough to be given our earned time, especially from those who are making a buck off of our passing. But it is also enlightening to know that we will remain in the memories of those who really matter, forever......or until we meet again!

Laynie - The Marketing Muscle said...

Cath, are you walking in my shoes again? We seem to be having the same incidents happening in our lives. LOL When my husband passed (july 2001) I booked the small chapel for his service. What I didn't expect was people flying from all over the country to be there. I needed the big chapel so everyone got a seat. We had 30 mins to celebrate JB's life. Ha, his story was more complex than that. So anyway, we hurried up outside, only to find the next service lining up. A police person, complete with a guard of honour, which I walked through. Not the intention, but what occurred. JB was an ex-motorcycle racer, so his driving record was spotted. Being a speed freak JB managed to outrun the police a couple of times. So once I emerged from the Guard of Honour line, I just had to remark "Typical! JB's just gone, and the police have just turned up." It's a shame that the services are rushed through and run back to back. I didn't manage to get to talk to everyone who turned up to say Goodbye to JB. It was heart warming to know that other people loved him nearly as much as I did (and still do). Sorry to hear of your loss. x

Raechelle said...

That's terrible! I can't beleive a funeral home would be so callous to book funerals one right after the other like that. that's downright shameful! I'm just a PT and I give a 1/2 hour in between clients just in case we go longer for questions or something. You should write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper or something. That's just wrong.

Sandra said...

Hi Cath,
Here's a "good one". An associate of mine sent through an email last week announcing that she would be on leave for the coming week as a member of her family had passed away in Scotland so she was travelling there to attend the funeral...then a couple of days later we got another email saying that the funeral had been postponed due to a "backlog" (yes you heard right) of bodies at the funeral parlour...there is something very wrong with this...