Confessions from a pre-comp crazy lady...

You know its easy to sit here and type about how fabulous it is to be fit and healthy, to be dieting for a competition that a lot of gym junkies only dream about before convincing themselves that they "never could".... why is that??

And really, it is incredibly amazing to be sitting here at my age knowing that in 68 (after quickly hoping up to check the boxes on the chart on the fridge) days I will be in a position to slide into a bikini... oh sorry Hubby.. a very blinged bikini.. and stand on stage to be judged purely on my form, muscle condition and overall symmetry, and to do this in front of a crowd of people who will be in the most part around the age of my children...

But is it easy... shit no!

Is it fun... hmm fun is definitely a word that does not immediately spring to mind... satisfying, empowering, a huge learning curve yes!

But.... see and this is the thing... I choose to do this.... no one is making me do this.. I am not being forced to do this... I CHOOSE to do this...

I confess that this is bloody hard work, that getting up at 4.30am every week day morning is painfully hard, that the fact the 6.30am is now considered a sleep in on the weekends cause if I don't get up then, all my meals for the whole day are thrown into confusion and stress arrives along with it...

I confess that ensuring that I eat the right thing at the right time every day so that the training I must complete every evening fits perfectly into the gaps between the food is annoying, that something as simple as a drive up the coast becomes a major tactical manoeuvre akin to retrieving a sunken treasure from a tank full of piranhas with an attitude problem...

But I choose to do this... I grizzle, I do doubt I can do this, I fight myself about this, but at the end of the day the choice is mine and I do choose to do this.. I can stop at any time... if I want to... but I don't.. mostly because I am fully aware that the age thing does matter and I really don't have a huge amount of years left to play this game... I reckon I probably have five years tops... If I choose to keep doing this...

So today when I went for my weekly confessions of a pre-contest crazy lady with Kelli I was really pleased with myself to be able to confess that I have actually pretty much enjoyed this week.. yes I did confess to the tossing of the chicken and salad on Sunday episode... oh and she also said that it serves me right that it was bland and tasteless and if I had eaten my own food it would have been nicer.. so next time I had to just suck it up and pack the bag... but apart from that I can look back and say...Yep another week gone bring on the next... cause I want to...

I had another good week in the process of goo removal with 2.6mils dropped... this brings me down to 46.4mils total and a 50 year old 9.6% bodyfat.. stupid age... I would be so much thinner if I was 40... damn fat wrinkles.... hehehehehe

I really loved the new gym atmosphere this morning and got to puffingly chat to Lisa while we burned up the calories this morning... no weight training tonight.. we just don't get back in time on a Wednesday but I am hanging out for tomorrows session...

So that... as they say.. is my confession.. I am doing this cause I want to.. cause I can... cause I am lucky enough to be fit and healthy enough to do it, and when yo think about how many people there are who would kill to be in a position to even consider doing this... I am bloody lucky to have the choice in the first place... I just wish I could show them how much fun and how basically easy it is... one step at a time... one day at a time.. one hour at a time....

ohhhhh looky... this hour contains diet jelly time....