Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Thursday, 9 September 2010

Should we reach???

I was informed today that comments I had made a few weeks ago proved that I was "All about Me"and very very self centered...

I was told this during a discussion on my behaviour today, when I behaved in such a way that did not help others and was not in the interest of a group of people I truly like and would normally go out of my way to help. I am at fault in this situation although I do believe it came through a genuine misunderstanding of a request. But the reason does not matter - I let down the group and I Failed!

But that one "All about Me" comment not only really upset me, as I do honestly believe I try and help anyone as much as I can, but it made me wonder what the difference is between focusing on a personal goal and doing everything you can to reach it, to be your best, to reach for the star, when does it become "self centered"....

Where do you draw the line, when do you say I must give up MY goal because I am now self centered..

The comment was made today because at the time I had said I was putting myself first, that the next however many weeks was all about the competition...

However, I believe that the real picture for all of us who compete is painted with more sacrifice than most people could even imagine.

For me it is doing things like staying awake for 21 hours so I can Kidsit my grandkids to give my Daughter and her Hubby a night out, getting up at 4.30am so that I have time in the morning, before cardio and then work, to prepare meals etc so that Hubby can sleep in. I make sure that no matter what, on Sunday we do what Hubby wants, after all he has to deal with my timetable every other day of the week...

I know Mums who have competed and have struggled the whole time with this issue, do we deserve to put ourselves first... For some reason women are not supposed to consider themselves "first" but why not... I was so very proud of my Mum & Dad when they decided to pursue their dream and moved countries when they were in their 70's, good on them for going for it, good on them for doing something that made them happy, they deserved to put themselves first... don't we all???

Doesn't reaching our goals make us all role models for our daughters, sisters, hell even total strangers.... Doesn't even just trying make us amazing when so many people won't even try?

I have spent hours answering emails from other women my age from all over the world, I always answer their questions honestly and with as much information as I can. I take time out of my crazy 18 hour days to make sure that they receive an answer the same day or at the most two days later cause I know what its like to desperately need to know how to start.... Doing this always means I have to time crunch something else, but what the hell, I know how these women feel how much it took to write me an email, cause I did the same thing a few years back...

I would love to know if you have been told you are self centered when you are working toward a goal....

I was also told today that I was narky.... ok I will admit that this must be an Aussie saying cause I have never heard it before, but the meaning was very clear.. insert "bitch" in the narky space...

So how do you explain 23 weeks of 18 hour days and carb cycling with 38 sleeps to go and your work load has almost doubled both at work and in the gym to a non competitor.......

I have taken a deep breath... I was wrong today and I will do my damnedest to never let the group down again.... now if only I could get the group to get up at 4.30am and not eat any carbs for 5 days... after all I play in their world every day surely it is very self centered of them not to at least try and play in mine...

The Jelly has long gone, but it did prove I can type and eat jelly at the same time...

8 comments:

Kek said...

Dunno what the circumstances were today, Cathy, but the selfish comment was waaay out of line.

You know that old saying about not judging someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes? Maybe your accuser needs to give that a go.

Kari Keenan said...

Sadly, people who do uncommon things often get criticized and put down. Keep doing what you're doing. Only by achieving YOUR goal and making YOURSELF happy can you help others be happy. You're not selfish; you're goal-oriented, and that's a big difference!

It's tough to find life balance in the midst of prep, but it looks like you're doing very well. Don't let one person's comment deter you from your goals and ambitions.

mq01 said...

hmmm, i have only a moment this AM (working/meetings), will write more later, but must say this bugs me. im sad and disappointed with what you have experienced, and im sorry for the people that dont understand.

cathy, you are an athlete (in addition to wife, mother, friend...), you really truly are. you give all of yourself, you share yourself with all of us willingly and lovingly, and yet you still dedicate yourself completely to your sport/craft/lifestyle.

hmmm. maybe it would help if those people understood you are an athlete? maybe you yourself need to recognize and loudly identify yourself to others that way? you ARE an athlete. then again maybe it wouldn't help...hmmm, i'll be back with better thoughts/comment later.

Dianna Broeren said...

Only a bodybuilder truely understands the process of comp prep! Which comps are you doing Cathy? Im planning to be at a couple and would love to meet you.

Cheers Di

Witchazel said...

Thank you for your comments ladies :o} The trouble is you all have had to cope with this sort of put down one way or another so you know what it is like...
Oh well today I played nice and pulled my head in, touched my forelock and smiled a lot...
After all there is a mortgage an hungry fur kids to feed...

Michelle said...

Hope to meet you at the comp next week :o)

mq01 said...

big hug! have a fabulous weekend!

Lynn said...

I wanted to chime in here, because I think it's important for all of us to put ourselves first. If we don't put ourselves first, how can we be expected to be their for our families when they need us the most.

"hugs" and I hope your week gets better.