Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Saturday, 20 November 2010

No more........

I have spent the week gloomy... I lost my Mojo for more than just a couple of days... I got lost in the gloom and discovered that old habits die hard when it comes to comfort eating as I drowned myself in sugar... cookies, lollies, muffins, chocolate, licorice... basically anything sweet that was not nailed down.

The sugar munching began last weekend,  and once it had started the cycle of cravings clicked in and I didn't even try and break it, some people hit the bottle when they want to drown sorrows... I hit sugar.. and I hit it big time... I can not stop once I start, I really do consider it an addiction, I physically can not eat one lolly or one biscuit. I may have one at a time but believe me as soon as it is swallowed I am craving and looking for ways to get the next one...  It is a all consuming search.... quiet scary really...

Along with the cravings comes the blues... as the sugar levels in my body drop between the sugar hits the blues level grows... So although the week I have had has been pretty crappy in the grand scale of crappiness, I have made it even more crappy due to the extra intense sugar tears...

Of course along with the blues comes the total lack of motivation... the whole "why train when I could be sitting eating crap" head space along with the sugar tears thoughts of "hell I look like shit so who wants to be seen in the gym looking like this"...

So I haven't done any cardio since Wednesday  morning and my training motivation has been somewhere north of nowhere... the ridiculous thing is I should be totally motivated, since having all those carbs buzzing through my body has actually increased all my personal bests in my weight training.... so really I should be bouncing around ecstatic with my training... instead I am looking for reasons to not go...


Well I was... but this morning it all just got better! It might have been being told that the bloke who bought the broom cried with joy when he told his wife about it... might have been that I just needed a sooky week and it finished this morning... maybe it was a week that was due to a taste of the dreaded menopause... or maybe not menopause but P.M.T... who the hell knows.. but its gone... thank the Goddess!!!!

So this morning we hit the gym and trained Biceps and Triceps and once again all my personal bests increased and I was loving every minute of it...

Then I went to finally get new glasses that I have been needing for about a year and instead came away with contact lenses...wooohoooo!!! I have hated wearing glasses.. the only good thing about wearing glasses for me has been that it gives me something very close to hand to throw across the room when I have one of my  fruitloop hissy fits... which really only happened the once... ohhh ok maybe twice... but anyway I now have contact lenses to trial for a week and reading glasses for computer work and surprisingly reading (gee ya think?) So far I love them... no problems at all...love them!

So anyway... I am still eating crap this weekend... never had a week off after the comp and it has made a huge difference to the rebound, or lack of it, but at the same time I feel like I really have needed this week of total crappy food to remind me why I do like to eat clean, why it is a huge part of my life, why.... as much as the pink gooey sweet stuff always looks and smells the bestest, yummiest and temptingest... it is not really for me... I am going to finish this weekend just being relaxed about the food... making it a complete week off.

I may even eat clean starting tomorrow... I really miss the feeling of being clean inside and out... and I have a big pimple! That is just wrong! I am wayyyyy past my teenage years! surely there is a teenager out there who should be wearing this pimple, you know that some things really do look better on the young generation....

3 comments:

Chelle said...

Enjoy your weekend off Cathy, we all have weeks where we just eat shit - its just a little reminder that you're only human! And all i can say is OMG, your LEGS are AMAZING! xo

mq01 said...

passing the virtual bottle back, while you're not completely clean that is ;) BIG HUGS!

mq01 said...

ps, i agree with chelle! beautiful!