Sandstorm, sightless, sleepless and dreaming...

Over the last few weeks I have been experiencing the feeling that I am standing in a glass jar while endless sandstorms rage around me.... I have had days where I have loved every tiny minute of it and days where I just wanted to walk away from my world as I know it and start again far far away... yes once again Outer Mongolia has been calling my name...

I literally fell into a hole and twisted my ankle and spent the afternoon trying not to hobble through my PT sessions... only to wake two days later to a closed up weeping eye and the feeling of having a trailer load of sand stuck under my eyelid... this made me forget about the ankle but resulted in having to make a quick visit to my ex doctor... since I couldn't drive to my new doc... to find I had somehow contracted conjunctivitis and could not wear my contact lenses for two weeks... okay so 2 days later I am wearing them again... ahhmmm I never was good at following instructions... The interesting thing about the doctors visit was I ended up with the doctor who had advised me to "Eat Air for a week" to stop from getting fat... so how hard was it for me to not bring this up when the Doc decided to remind me that he had treated me once about 3 years ago but that I hadn't been back since.... I just smiled and told him I knew that.... see I can hold my tongue... sometimes... although all the way home I snarled all the answers I wanted to give him.... which can not be repeated, mostly because I refuse to let that sort of poison lurk around me.

I have been to the INBA QLD Titles and yesterday the NABBA QLD Titles... loved both shows although I have to admit that after an hour and a half of sports models at the INBA I was starting to wonder why I was even bothering to attend... sorry to all those that I offend but I go to a body building show to see muscle not to see who can afford the best breast augmentation... So we watched the start of the NABBA show and loved every minute of it and left before the sports model and WFF section... Now I am not saying that the sports models don't put work into looking the way they do, I think they work just as hard and diet just as long as the other competitors... its just not my thing... BUT I would like to praise the women because at least they put some effort into how they present themselves.. really the men are ridiculously casual and sloppy.. can someone please take the time to make them learn how to stand and pose... please!

Next week we are off to the IFBB show... can't wait to see  the local competitors and I'm really excited to see Kai Greene!! ... droool...

All these shows are creating a craving for the stage in me... I am presently cutting up mostly just to look good for summer, but more importantly to present a professional appearance as a Personal Trainer....  how can I expect my clients to watch their nutrition, exercise there hearts out and work towards their goals if I don't do it myself! I struggle when I see personal trainers who are obviously out of condition and flabby... walk the walk people if you are going to talk the talk... 

So cutting up for me involves pre-comp nutrition, a change in training focus and extra cardio... If I expect my clients to work I must work harder! My training now consists of an hour of weights and an hour of cardio in the middle of every day... the only time I can fit it in... so although I crave to compete again I have no idea how i could do it logistically... for me to fit in a hour of cardio on an empty stomach in the morning before work would mean I would be doing cardio at 2.30am!!! then again at night after work... hell that's 8.30pm... ummmm seems to be a hell of a challenge... still heaps of time till the next round of comps for me to work on a plan and make a decision about if I do want to go there again at... shit by then I will be 52... arghhhhhhhhhhh

Apart from the shows there have been Josfus Nofus's 7th birthday and Miss Lily's 4th birthday... Love them to bits and still have trouble fitting them in as much as I would really like to...

I am now so used to the 4am starts that I can no longer sleep past 4.30am... sigh! I have had a lot of sleepless nights as well mainly due to the sandstorms and the uncertainty they create and this is also starting to get me down... tried lots of different things to help but nothing works for more than a couple of nights... of course the Furkids think that 4am is the time I should get up every day now so they get a bit panicky when i don't... this doesn't help on a Sunday morning when I could actually sleep in... except that I am also awake at 4am anyway... sigh...

So that's a quick update... hmmmm seems all a bit boring really... although the sandstorms have been interesting to watch they are also boringly tiresome and I wish stability would arrive soon... then I would no longer be sightless or sleepless but I will always be dreaming.....