Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Hit the wall, got over it...

Now I'm no young chicky babe....

I have been hanging around on this earth for one month short of 49 years and I have to admit that in all that time (including having two babies who both decided to give me around 26 hours of labour - little darlings) I have never felt as totally exhausted as I did this morning...

t.o.t.a.l.l.y..... dead on my feet... b.u.g.g.e.r.e.d....

All I can say is thank you Hubby for seeing that I wasn't being a Prima Donna and who made me stay home today... Although probably cause he was sick of seeing me looking like an old half dead hag...

Well I slept all morning... ok, I slept after I had got up at 4.30am, trained, done cardio, had breakfast, done the dishes and hung out the washing and for some insane unknown reason I just HAD to tidy the draw in the bathroom that contains all my makeup hair ties etc and put them into little plastic containers (go figure!) then I slept from 9.30 to 1pm... sigh.... it was what I soooooooooo needed....

Then I sat and read for a couple of hours.. then had my nails done...

And then for a complete change I went to the gym and did Abs and more cardio, made dinner and all of tomorrows meals... yep just a normal night..

I then sat down to dinner as the Biggest Loser programme hit Rotorua... That's my old home town!!!! Hell it made me homesick for the lakes, and the scenery where we used to ride the horses.... and the sulphur smell of the hot pools and boiling mud.... love it here but miss it there, the joys of changing countries.......

And most of all I miss my friends a lot! I'm not a very social person mostly because I have been hurt very badly over the years by women who I thought were my close friends, so making friends, especially women friends, is a big hurdle for me.

I know it is my problem, but I have learnt over all of the 49 years that the times when I let down my guard and open my heart I have been treated in ways that I could not understand and in ways I could never treat others... So I don't give my trust easily or trust anyone 100%... and the up shot of that is I do not have any close girl friends over here and none anywhere near my age... So I am homesick... or friend sick...

But with the joys of modern technology I can at least still stay in touch, which is fabulous, but as us girls all know there is nothing like sitting around on the floor have a bitch session with a couple of bottles of tequila and a cigar or two!!!!! Ok so now I suppose it would be a large bottle of water and a cup of oats????? hmmmmmm doesn't quite have the same ring but I am sure the bitching would still happen LOL

Anyway that's where my head has been today... I got over the wall in the end which is the main thing... weights and measurements tomorrow with Kelli who is sure to pick me up and dust me off and set me on my way again for another week....... Must remember to thank her for all her fabulous work.... and to once again try and be nice to Hubby because I must also remember he didn't ask me to do this competition he is just trying to help me reach my goals.........

4 comments:

Frankie said...

Glad you got over that wall. Sorry you miss your friends. NZ looks beautiful. It's one of the few places I really feel like I MUST go one day (that and Italy). I'm watching Loser now, the scenery is spectacular.

Sucking on a water bottle and skulling oats...hahaha! I'm a vodka girl.

Raechelle said...

I totally understand that whole "homesick" thing chicky! We have been in Aus for 12 years (we are even citizens now)-but I have only made a couple of "friends" here and am attached to my friends and family back in the states (my own fault-same as you....got some doors closed for whatever reason)....at least I know I can go see them every year-and yeah/hey!!! YAY for technology! so glad to have e-mail and skype...keeps us all up to date daily.
Glad you got some well-deserved rest! Hurdles are good (AFTER we've jumped them!) ;-)

TiarnaH said...

Hi :)

I didn't happen to see youre HUGE black ute today at Kelli's did I? lol. Im not stalking you I just had to drop off something and I saw the ute and thought hmmmmmm :)

Hope you went well,

Tiarna.

witchazel said...

Hey lasies, I have answered you on your blogs, thanx for the comments, they ckeep me positive and hanging in there!