Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Thursday, 25 June 2009

Adjusting the focus

Wednesday was the big weigh in and fat% day and 4 weeks post competition I weighed in at 60.5kg..... A weight gain of around 6kgs...

I knew that once I had seen Kelli I would know if I was on track or blundering through the forest of fat without a compass.. I was about to get my focus adjusted one way or another and that is exactly what happened.

So as we are heading up the highway I am laying bets in my head as to what my fat% will be.....

Gunna be at least 15%... If it is more than 15% I am chucking this in... more likely its 20%! Yeah if it's 20% I am going back to dieting and just being a cardio chick...

Bet its at least 15%, couldn't be less than that... ohh well at least I did a couple of shows before i got huge again... at least 12% bet it's way over 12.... ohhhh well it was nice while it lasted... ohhh well I have learnt how to eat clean... bet its way over 12%... if its over 12%I will cry... 6kgs!!! el its going to b over 15%... shit!!!!!!!!!

It was fabulous to see Kelli again after a month and she is always so enthusiastic and encouraging. Then straight away out came the dreaded calipers and off we went..... slowly adding the numbers to the spreadsheet.... watching them slowly add up while hubby danced from one foot to the other trying to see how I was going... after all he was going to have to put up with the tears all the way home.....

Finally a total appears... 9.0%... stunned silence... 9%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then I just sat there adding them up in my head in case the spreadsheet was wrong... all the time with stupid grin on my face... So finally my head can get that I am doing great, perfect, wonderful, spot on...

I am focusing on gaining more weight LOL WTFs with that! So my meals have not changed at all just grown a bit more, but I am supposed to have a few cheat meals for the next couple of weeks...

Which is why after almost 6 months Hubby and I went out and ate like the normal folks...

Which is why after almost 7 hours I am sitting on the couch wide awake catching up with my blogging on my laptop at 3am!!!!! I went to bed at 11pm, at 1am I woke with a racing heart, sweats and could hardly breath.

It wasn't like I ate a huge amount. In fact going by what the other diners were eating I was only having a tiny meal. I had chicken Nacho's (1/2 shared with Hubby) chips (1/2 shared with Hubby) 1 1/2 glasses of red wine, 2 coffees and 2 pieces of cake (not shared at all!) and here I am 7 hours later still feeling like I ate a chocolate coated deep fried hippo..ugh! I feel bloody awful... I will even admit to considering sticking my fingers down my throat about 2 hours ago just so I could go to sleep but I will never go there!!

Bring on the sunlight so I can go to the gym and get on the crosstrainer! How do people eat this shit all the time???? I can't believe that a couple of years ago we did this every Friday and ate a whole pizza each and a bag of lollies on a Tuesday as well... OMG!!! How sad is that!!!

So anyway, with the exception of tonight, I am back focused on the competition in October, actually tonight has made me more focused, I am in no hurry to eat normally again!!

I made a big batch of Kangaroo chilli today (actually that was yesterday now) and I am hunting down recipes for protein balls and other yummy protein snacks, ging to be making an other fritatta today as that was totally delicious.. although at this point in time I can not imagine being able to eat anything till around 5pm today.. still feeling ugh!

We are heading to a fabric store this weekend to find the material for my next bikini, got to get it made so Hubby has time to work out a new crystal design in his head LOL.

Nothing much else to do this weekend as the bloody endless rain is still here... think I may still have a Harley under a cover in garage... I can vaguely remember what it looks like... maybe I should check later in the morning in case it has floated away, or just left of it's own accord feeling unloved and dejected.... BLOODY RAIN!!!!

Damn 3.15am and still wide awake and hot and bothered... probably has noting to do with dinner, probably menopause... please let it be the Nacho's... LOL

1 comment:

mq01 said...

ITS PMS...parked motorcycle syndrome :) hope you get a ride in soon...

wow, sounds like you are doing fantastic!!! i can remember strict good health eating. i was vegetarian and worked out 2 hrs every day. maybe once a yr i would risk eating a burger, and i would feel like SHIT afterward. it is definitely a lifestyle...cheers to good health!!

cant wait to see what hubby creates with the new bikini...