Focus......

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”- Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

FIGURING OUT THE FIFTIES.... SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.......

Sunday 9 August 2009

Fighting invisible restrictions...

A light bulb went off in my grumpy self absorbed brain today...

First I have to admit that I have been a bit of a nasty grumpy arse since the start of this countdown to my next competitions...

Today I realised that I have been a self centered, self absorbed princess and gave myself a slap round the head!

I made the decision to do these next round of competitions and yet, from the day I did that, I have been fighting my own self imposed restrictions!

But hang on, I made those restrictions, no one else can make me do this, I am not being forced to diet and train against my will, I love the food (yes I've said it before and I will say it again... Chicken and broccoli are my favorite food!!!!) I love the training and even the cardio...

So why am I behaving so badly about having them in my life!

I want to compete!

I want to compete and win!

I want to present the best possible version of me on those stages and to do that I must eat a certain way, train a certain way, add cardio, take my supplements, restrict my free time, increase my work load...

I knew this when I decided that being a figure competitor is what I am, what I want to continue to do and be, hopefully until I have to compete using a walking stick LOL

I have had a great weekend, Saturday morning training then housework and some sunshine.
A sleep in this morning then out on the bikes for a quick blat and a green tea, even managed to fit in a quick sunbathe this arvo before cardio this evening.

Ohhhh and I finally got out of saggy baggy uniform pants on Friday and wore a skirt that one of the other woman passed on to me... Yay!!!!! I thought my sucky job was going to be a little more bearable as I didn't have to wear saggy baggy pants any longer.... until I was told that I could not wear the skirt as I have a tattoo around my ankle and that isn't allowed to be seen..... SIGH!

I have never understood the concept that how you look affects the way you do your job. How can my administration work be affected when my tattoos are shown???? How does wearing more than two earrings make me less efficient in the office???? According to the handbook I am allowed to have purple and pink hair as long as it does not touch my collar because I am sure if my hair touches my collar I must loose all ability to work out if N comes before R when I am filing.....

Its a public holiday here tomorrow for Ekka, I won't be at sucky job but I will be cleaning the vans and a few cars.... hmmm I do vaguely remember public holidays... why are they always on a Monday when the vans MUST be cleaned LOL

4 comments:

mq01 said...

i was starting to worry about you. im sooooo glad to see you back. invisible restrictions, i really get this.., could it be the tensions of the eclipse combined with the mental stress/anxiety that we face when we work our asses off toward big goals? i think sometimes its a test of will and strength. and yet pushing thru seems to open ourselves to greater paths.

Dawn said...

We must work for the same company...it's funny...if you look good people stare and find something wrong with the way you look...but if your sloppy and look a mess it's fine...I just don't get it!

Kerry W said...

I wouldn't have thought that a tat on the ankle would have been a big deal...lol...

mq01 said...

ps, cathy, stage makeup for the tat, no problem... :) and if they continue and say anything else about it, then its harassment!! ;)