I AM being tested...

First I have to say thank you to the guys at ASN for putting me on the front of their August Newsletter!!! THANK YOU!!!!

Now.... Have you ever had one of those days where you are sure the whole universe is out to test your resolve to be a good person....

I had one of those bizarre days where you look back and think.... WTF??? Was today some sort of test day and no one told me to study for it????

It started as usual, biceps and chest workout all good, eggy oats as per normal, saggy baggy uniform on as usual....
Hopped into the Chevy trundled off down the road for 500mtrs doing abut 30mph and put my foot on the brake.......

The skid was soooo spectacular people walking the waterfront stopped and looked!!! I slid straight into the middle of the T intersection at the bottom of our road stopping just before I crossed the middle line..... It really sounded like I had been going 100mph and since the truck is a 63 Chevy C10 painted dark purple it looked pretty spectacular too.... LOL

Since I was lucky enough to have no traffic coming either way and I was only going 30mph and I have driven these beasties for a few years now I just put her back into 2nd and trundled off round the corner and headed to work... got to admit I felt like I was tippy toeing down the road and gave myself heaps of room for stopping at corners LOL

Then while I am sitting and planning the death of all the people at work who seem totally unable to clock in, out, or even at all when they work, my phone tells me I have a sms... The message reads....

Are you still coming to dinner... do you want steak, chops, roast, stew or lamb... I have all in freezer let me know.

My GODDESS!!! Yes I am coming!!!! I want it all!!!!... ummmm But who are you??? I don't recognise the phone number... So I sent back...

sounds fabulous but I think you may have the wrong ph number.. unfortunately!

I got back... Seems like I have, but you do sound just like my Son...

I told them I was a 50yr old woman so not their son LOL....

I reckon I was way too slow... I should have sent back....

YES one of each please... But I have banged my head and have amnesia so what was your address again.... But I was good and stuck to my contest diet and didn't give in to that test LOL

Then it was lunch time and as you know I scurry outside to the BBQ area, I go there everyday I am at work, I sit at at the same table around the same time every work day... Today the gardener at work sat on his ride on mower and did laps beside me for 20 mins of my half hour and although I was not that happy about it I tuned out the drone and read my magazine... He does this once a week, sometimes twice a week, so I am used to it...

Then I realise I can no longer hear the mower..... then I can hear this other noise that sounds like..... ummmm... what is that.....NOISE!!!!!!!!!! FUUUCKKKKKKKK The Fucker has gone and turned the heavy duty industrial strength sprinklers on in the BBQ area.... Right next to me... Over me.... through me...

Now I leap up and scream the above, grab my magazine (now soggy), lunch container, bag, drink bottle, mobile phone and turn around and the idiot is just standing across the car park looking at me with the bizarre Mona Lisa smile on his face!!!! WTF???? He then slowly turned the sprinklers off... sloooowwwwwllllyyyy...

Now you have to ask yourself this, why would anyone do this to the payroll lady on payroll day and expect THEIR pay to be correct or even happen at all..... Especially when said payroll lady does not make her love of all things Magic a secret....

So now I AM really being tested... should I test a voodoo doll or a shrinking penis spell....

So today I have passed my three tests.... as I said I just wish someone had warned me that I should have been studying and practising my reactions, resolve and reactions...

Now I am off to find my jar of eye of newt and wing of bat....